Today is the day when I’m told I’ve outgrown the life I currently have, and it’s time to let go of the familiar. I’ve been inundated over the last couple weeks with subtle messages saying to ‘let go’, yet they’ve gone waaaaay over my head. Sermons from church, YouTube messages from ordinary people, songs I’ve been listening to…they all allude to one thing. Give it up, sister.
Today, however, God decided I was not getting it so… Every single blog I have read, every Instagram, Facebook and Twitter message with content (and even a few memes) I’ve seen in my feeds have all had something to do with growth, grace and letting go of the familiar.
I know to which area this is speaking. In fact there are several. I have been sucking at a few things as of late, and some things I have lost complete interest in. I hang on because they are my responsibility. Does responsibility keep you bound to a place you know you should leave? Asking for a friend.
I keep trying to stuff myself into roles I no longer fit into and it’s time to let go. So, I will.
Thing is, it’s scary. It’s scary for me to not be in control, to not have the final say, to not be in the decision making process, to just follow. I don’t have a problem with being led. Well, maybe a little. I have to trust who’s leading me, and although that’s God, sometimes it’s hard to trust when I can’t see. When I plot my own course, I can ‘see’ a very limited distance, but it’s clear by the level of mistakes I’ve been making, this is not a good thing. It’s downright exhausting.
I don’t have fancy Bible verses for this today, just the truth that being ‘saved’, a ‘Child of the King’, a ‘Virtuous Woman’ or any of those other churchy thangs doesn’t mean you don’t ever get fearful. It just means you choose not to stay there. Or if you do, you’re willfully choosing misery and a continuous bump of your head. Eventually, you’ll either let go, or be in pain. I’m not a fan of pain, so yeah, I am gonna drop it like it’s hot.